I found this bizarre item on Japan Trend Shop. If you really want to pee without noise well this is the solution I guess.
Introducing you the Pee Without Noise Stool.
The Pee Without Noise Stool is one of those ideas that’s so cool we’re embarrassed we didn’t think of it before. We’ve all been there: it’s 2am in a sleeping house, your mother-in-law is right behind you in line for the potty, or you don’t want to broadcast the fact that you downed six glasses of beer over the course of your date.
As great as it is to be able to pee standing up, there are some situations where you just want to do your business discreetly, and having the outlet several feet above the bowl makes it hard to keep the volume down.
You could sit, but not only is that unbecoming a man, you also risk splashing the rim. Enter the Pee Without Noise stool. Kneeling on its soft cushions positions you at the exact right height to land your stream in the bowl at a much-reduced velocity and volume level. This simple, elegant tool could save your dignity, your relationship, or even your life (if there’s a robber in the house but you just have to go)!
When I discovered this I first toughed it was a joke. But you can order this and choose from polyurethane DX or wood Eco models.



